Beloved 2009

 


Wingless Angel

I dread the passing of every second,
Minute, hour, day and week.
As it drags me one step closer, to loosing you.
Spiritually isolated again.

I am scared that the hole you leave
Will not be filled by God.
For God is Love.
Even if it were filled with faith, what a price to pay.
I should be left gravely out of pocket!

For I need tangible faith.
I pray you to teach me the way
Lest all my faith be broken with parting.

To be forever close to you
I would bare the weight of my cross
For a thousand life times,
For you are my light.

Love deeper than life.
 
Faith by faith, being plucked from me
Like feathers from my wing.

An earthly angel, left wingless.
How shall I ever fly to heaven for my eternal rest.
Lest the grace of God carries me.

Unless you hold me in your mind, your heart, your life, your Love.
And in your arms you take me there.

Heaven.

Aug 09


Fragile Faith

Faith slipping through my fingers like
Ribbon tied with Love, slipping through bows.

Where are you God ?
My God!
God that turns Love impossible
Into life long friendship, never broken.

Why God,
Do you strip me of my friends, my loves ?
And leave me always so broken and alone
Struggling with death and distance
Circumstance and silence.

I refuse to believe, you are so selfish a God
To cut the ribbon that binds us,
To deprive me of my loved ones
Just so that you can keep us for yourself.

If I were God
I would hold, where holding's needed.
I would let Love, where Love intended.
And where loving was forbidden, I would overcome
And forever let the Love of friendship flower.

And if I were God
I would hold all that gentle loving, in the cusp of my hands
And blow my kiss of faith upon.

Like a dandelion fairy seed head,
Spreading new life, from the wonder of a Childs breath
Blowing with the magic of love.

Faithful, innocent and God blessed.
Nurtured and never broken
By the holy spirit in the breeze.

But you are God, not I.
And faith is slipping through my fingers.

26th July 09


The Holy Spirit Moves in Mysterious Ways

Spirit breaking the bounds of Love.
Not love cut out in hearts and brought by society.
Measured and contained and recorded, then annulled.
My love for you has no such earthly bounds.
Why has God waited till now, to show me the intensity of Love?
Sweet Jesus kind.

Unless there be a day, when you seal your love in an earthly ring
Or anoint me with your blessed truth, so angels sing.
I will forever feel the wrath of my folly
Having over ridden Gods will.
Unless Gods will does come again.

Your being is inscribed in my soul eternal, not upon a page.
The promise of forever sealed in my heart.
Our spirits already intertwined
And flickering between this world and the next.

My love for you is enlaced with the sanctity of your mind.
T'is not the same with others of your kind,
For their spirits and mine aren’t connected, as ours.
By the invisible funicular that draws me in, beyond the eyes.

Where I am secretly led to that inner holy well.
To drink and be drunk, loved and replenished.
Embraced and ensconced.
Holy Holy communion.
Where true Love is not a sin committed.

All my days I shall meet you by that inner holy well.
And long for the sacred moment that you
Ask me for my foreverness.
When everything  that belongs to me
And everything that belongs to you
Body, mind, being and spirit, As our Love
Become one.

God Blessed
On earth as it is in heaven
Amen x

Do you feel it too?  I need to know
Lest madness drives thy peace away.
Hope. I am holding onto with both hands.
For all my humble faith, I place in you.
Bestow me with just one. I Love You.
To keep me, until we can be.
Lest our time be eternity x

July 09


Life and The Eternal

Enshroud me with your more than Love

Magisterium of my senses.

Encapsulate my un resided spirit

Slip your mind inside my mind

Enlighten me.

Braille of my soul

Ensoul me.

But pray you be of earthly nature

Celestial body compelling.

Infuse me

Soul to soul

Skin to skin.

Spirit me eternal.

 

31st May 09


May

May clarity of vision, long days enlighten.

May the stars carousel engrave the night time.

May every dawn be a pink encore.

May Love encompass and hold you Maura.

For only blest eyes who watch the horizon

May eclipse the full beauty of God's creation.

May 09


Amen x

My heart I place within your hands
It beats outside of myself, to the rhythm of your name.

My sleep is laced with filigree paths
Each and every golden one leading me to you.

A maze of latticed love.

Breath by breath I dance, leap, wait, sleep.

Your presence alone quietens my seeking spirit.

Your solitary peaceful peace imbued upon my peaceful solitude
Merged.

I want and need and pray for

           Your mercy tangible
                               Your friendship transcendent
                                                       Your Love perpetual
                                                                                      Amen x

May 2009


Silence

The bad silence is like waiting idle for repose
No response, no repose
My too honest words leave me naked, exposed
A failing of my nature, my Love.
I pray that you smile, that your great silence is now only half so silent.
But I as ever, silence my wretched companion
Like Death, forever at my side

If only you could name me
Break the damned spell
Replenish my silence
Silence that sustains me
Carries me from hell

But the good silence humbles me
It wraps me around, bound in its Godly cloak
And should I have fallen
It lightens my yoke.
Blesses my tired body
Loves me, regardless of my scars.


To feel Him is to be thrust into a great silence with ones self
Where I fear I am not so compassionate.
But when His silence comes
It binds me and lights the end of days
Where time is nigh so lonely
God knows.

april 09


          Beloved

If Love is far greater than death
Then Love must be far greater than lovers.

If I were to close my eyes
Or be within a darkened place.
Or if I were forever blind
I still would recognise your face.

For I feel your soul, through every pore.
And taste your spirit evermore.

When you are close, your lips don’t move
But still, I see your gentle smile
Like a kiss, that blesses new born skin.

When you are close, Your hands move not,
But still I feel your loving touch
Enough to place upon a ring.

A promise of a vow to you
With every breath the words “I do”

And when you’re near my breath does stop
And you begin to breath for two.

One day this will forever be.
The sacred day when lovers wed
A marriage of eternity.

Until the day when we are betroved
As lover I will be with you
Sensual and besieged with Love
And faithful till my prayers come true x

April 09


Longing

Love chooses not

but is chosen by yearning and dancing and twining of spirits

Driven by God

Our God.

I love, because Love is my gift

God chose me to Love you

What am I to do ?

For there is but one lifetime for loving.


April 09


God.

The colour purple; a reminder of all my failings and weaknesses
For I know only to well, that I am human
With every breath and every thought and every stirring, I please me.
I fail you.

The colour green; for I am ordinarily every day
A celebration of all that is growing .  Of all that is natural
For I am of nature.
I am organic and only sadly so long here.
Don’t let me die before you forgive the sins
That you have created in me.  Experienced with me.  Will Share with me.

The colour red;  For I am in mourning.
Suspended my selfishness.
Surrender my needs, Subdue my love.  Suppress its touch.
That you may love me.

I deny myself, That you may
Live like a king and die like a martyr.

Gold ; for special special occasions
That our love can be of the essence that dreams taste of
After the suns have melted.
Untouchably glorious,  together bathed naked in glitter
Sacred eternally bound.
Deepest wishes that come truest true
Please hear my prayer,
“Make a sinner of me, and then forgive me
So that I can be
Physically and emotionally Loved by you”

April 09